her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
