i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
