I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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