It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
