Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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