You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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