he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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