I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.