They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love you. Go after that dick
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
