Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
