Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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