i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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