Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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