Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
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so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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