I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
