Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Holy shit dude........stairs
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
