I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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