Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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