haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
