I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize