i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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