That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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