Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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