she was so not down for the gang bang
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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