my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
