i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
