He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
