My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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