Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
