The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
