i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
