I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
