the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
