so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize