Who wears a wallet chain?!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
