I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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