I just cut my nipple shaving
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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