I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
