note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize