It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
