does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
