Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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