I wish I could punch you in the face.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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