So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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