I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
