theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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