So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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