The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
ttyl tear gas
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
