HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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