evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
