have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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