the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
