If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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