My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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