I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
