can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize