lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
