Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I believe in your delicious
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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