I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So much rum. So many feels.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
