yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Of course I have a pirate flag
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
