You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Best friends brother. Beat that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize