he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
