After last night, I could never be a politician.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
