So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I will pee on everything he values.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
