Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
