Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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