That's intense
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
