u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
love makes seman taste better
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
