I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
