just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
